Positive punishment is a punishment that makes sense and tries to get a message across, says Charline Tremblay, hypnotherapist and practitioner in positive psychology, a specialist in children, according to “Doctissimo magazine“. Here are five examples of applying so that your children understand the message you want them to understand
1- What is positive punishment?
Toddler in school uniform cleaning floor
Your children are stubborn, and your punishments are not working? Do you need a simple method that is not radical, allowing you to educate your children without going to extremes?
Positive punishment can help. It is a common form of discipline that immediately results when a child behaves in an undesirable or dangerous way.
It’s no fun for you or them. Nevertheless, if everyone wants to be happy, it is the parent’s responsibility to teach their children what to do to avoid potential dangers. Here are five examples of positive punishments that can help discipline your children.
1 – Reprimand
You don’t like your boss spending hours lecturing you about a task you didn’t do correctly? Neither does your child. And to avoid it, they will do whatever you tell them.
2 – Hit or grab the hand
Imagine your one-year-old walking up to the hot pan you left on the stove, and your reflex would be to go and grab it before he touches it. Please don’t do it!
Wait until he’s close by, stand next to it, and hit his hand when he wants to touch it. Yes, stand there and slap his hand! He will want to repeat it because he didn’t understand why, and you will hit him again. The goal is to assimilate an adverse reaction to a dangerous behavior for a positive result.
If it is a child in traffic, moms know it well; pull him by the hand, so he does not cross. Circumstances can put on unruly children your shoulders (they will take it as a child’s play while you only think about their safety).
3 – Writing
What could be more annoying than spending a beautiful sunny afternoon in your room on your desk writing 100 times, “I won’t touch my colleague’s stuff anymore.”
The punishment is valid at school as well as at home. Moreover, your child will be in his room, quiet, and you will have a moment of peace for you. There’s no need to start with 100; go gradually. Your child should enjoy it even if it is a punishment. First, do it ten times, the next time, 20 times, and more each successive time. Your child will get used to it without realizing it’s a punishment.
4 – Abduction
Here, it is a question of taking away your child’s most precious toy. It could be his blanket if he has one or a dessert that he usually has after dinner for a longer or shorter period. He will learn later that every action against his parents takes something away from him, and to not lose his little pleasures, he will stop. The objective here is to show him that what he does wrong comes back to him. The kid can learn the law of Karma children from an early age.
Don’t hesitate to deprive him of pocket money, transportation, or set a curfew that he never used to have.
5 – Chores
One evening, you come home. And your child is in his room. The floor covering with oil, the walls are full of ink stains, pieces of paper are lying around, the table is not tidy, and the cushions are not on the sofa. A red vein is popping out of your skull, and you want to explode with rage and break your phone. Drink some water, and a heart attack is just around the corner. But the solution is close at hand.
Call your child in the most cheerful tone possible, and tell him that you have brought him a present. Soon he will appear, and you will give him the mop and all the necessary materials to clean.
Here, to make the solution more effective, you have two options:
– Either, you give a gift after the chores
– Either take away one of their toys, or their dessert, their pocket money so that they understand more quickly.
‘’ Either I lose something or I gain something”.
You can even take the opportunity to put conditions on them: ”if you want the latest iPhone, you do this and that for a month”.
The next time you come home, you will be surprised to find yourself in a hotel room (and you will have taught him how to mop the floor all of a sudden).
His methods are applicable to all children from 0 to 18 years old maximum (as long as you can carry them on your shoulders, see n°2 )