WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL BEAUTIFUL?

Edem

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Once in a while, we experienced something in our lives that made us realize that we were not looking so pretty. Is it a lack of self-esteem? The fact of comparing ourselves to someone or to an icon that we idealize? As Coco Chanel would have put it, “Elegance is when the inside is as beautiful as the outside.”. This kind of thought has a knock-on effect on our outer appearance, which can be temporary, continuous or even sickly.

WHY WE DO NOT “FEEL  BEAUTIFUL”?

The self-image we have of our own body is quite different from our “real” body. A beautiful girl who is displeased with her physical appearance often has an ideal of a flawless body, which she thinks she cannot achieve because she has low self-esteem. “If I were slimmer, or had a smaller nose, people would finally appreciate me”. Now we are facing society, advertising, television, social networks (Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest…) – in short, everything related to image and sexuality – that dictate a very strict criteria that do not encourage beauty diversity. So, “if I don’t conform to this template offered by the images that the media is broadcasting, then I am ugly”. And this feeling of rejection is even more bitter if we evolve in a Society that never values us (from the strict viewpoint of physical beauty.).

When the feeling of ugliness becomes an obsession, it is named dysmorphia, and a person in this situation needs psychological follow-up. We can give the example of Milley, an 11-year-old girl who committed suicide in January 2016 in Ireland because she did not feel beautiful. Indeed, this feeling can become unhealthy until it leads to death.

 

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO “FEEL  BEAUTIFUL”?

Being aware that you are beautiful allows to have a good self-esteem, to have self-confidence and gives assurance to others that you are worthy of trust. To feel beautiful whatever your size, your weight, your handicaps…, also allows you to value yourself and to be appreciated in the society. It is a mean of fulfillment. We feel comfortable in our body and no situation can undermine us.

SOME TIPS TO “FEEL BEAUTIFUL”

Beauty is not only about physical appearance. It is much more intimate because what you feel inside is reflected outside. To be beautiful is also a state of mind, it is a will and a step which must come from oneself. In the following lines I will share with you some tips to “feel beautiful”.

  • Give respect to yourself

Accepting who you are is the starting point. You must avoid comparing your lifestyle, character, passion and everything about yourself to others. You will be disappointed. Being honest with yourself is what will bring out your beauty. George Sand would say “beauty of the soul prevails over physical beauty. Be yourself and let your outer beauty reflect your inner beauty.

  • Take into account your physical shape

If sport or diet allow you to sculpt your figure, you cannot fight against your genetic endowment: a wide pelvis, developed shoulders, small breasts… are not naturally modifiable.

We are not all genetically designed in the same way, so you need to know your body shape and what kind of clothes can go with it. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with a makeover coach or a stylist. Find out what you are good at and show them off by avoiding as much as possible copying what you see on others, or in magazines…

We have all bought at least once an outfit that we thought looked good in a picture, but once we wore it, we realized that it didn’t look the same. Simply because the model who posed for that item has a different body from ours and we didn’t respect this morphology.

  • Don’t focus on nasty remarks

You have beautiful love handles! You’re wearing my grandmother’s shoes! And there you have it, how others ruin your day in no time. These small and harmless sentences have the unfortunate effect of turning our world upside down. Yet, once in your life, ones praised you for something special that you have, so take a positive approach to remembering what they said.

  • Cultivate what makes you special

A willingness to be different from others boosts your confidence, femininity and charm. A generation of clones from scratch has been created. Same brands, models are placed on a pedestal. We envy them, we copy them and we forget one essential thing: our own desires.

Don’t put yourself under vain pressure to follow the standard if you don’t like it. Wear what makes you happy and makes you look good. For example, if you prefer sneakers to six-inch (06 inch) high heels, don’t feel you are not worthy to others. Dress as you like and especially according to your body shape.

You were not born to be a standardized model, you are not a mass production of Wolkswagen but you are “you” and admit that it’s great to be a unique model, isn’t it?

  • Care for your beauty

It is good to be naturally pretty but beauty requires regular care. Skin needs to be nourished, hair needs to be cut, nails need to be maintained…which means that it requires some effort. Avoid body odor, have good breath and smell nice (a good perfume or a deodorant with a not too strong smell will do the deal).

The healthy lifestyle is also important: a good night’s sleep, a healthy diet and exercise will be reflected in your face.

  • Have self-confidence

To feel beautiful, you must develop a vision of your own self-image based on your tastes, what makes you happy and pleased you. You must put effort into gaining self-confidence. Thus, you will find yourself more beautiful and this will be felt in your behavior and that will make your beauty shine.


Feeling beautiful is a decision. We live in a society where the standard of beauty is raised very high. That’s why we have to accept ourselves as we are with our qualities and flaws or we will be disappointed and depressed. The Creator has created all things beautiful. Everything starts with a state of mind. Take care of your body and “feel beautiful“!

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