I used to pay all the bills or even contribute to it when it was too high, but since Steve has become a millionaire, all my friends have their eyes on him. They ask him questions and make plans with him every night, and sometimes, after getting back home, I receive pictures of how they are having fun while I’m with my family. Even my wife regularly asks about him. “How’s your friend Steve? It’s been a long time since he had dinner with us." Is he okay? He used to bring turkeys on Thanksgiving:” I just can’t bear it!

Sometimes, you might feel overshadowed and neglected in your social circle due to a friend's newfound wealth and popularity. It can be challenging when the attention and focus seem to be consistently directed towards one person, leaving you feeling left out or unappreciated. However, resentment can be toxic and detrimental to your well-being and relationships. This article will explore practical strategies to overcome bitterness and embrace a more positive mindset.

How do you fix resentment in a friendship?

1. Understanding Resentment

Resentment is a complex emotion that arises when we feel unfairly treated or perceive a lack of fairness compared to others. It stems from a sense of injustice and can manifest in various forms, such as anger, bitterness, or jealousy. Resentment towards friends who make more money than us can be particularly challenging, as it often triggers feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Instead of allowing resentment to consume us, let's shift our perspective and adopt a more empowering mindset. Everyone's journey is unique, and financial success does not define our worth or happiness. Then how do you deal with it?

2. Celebrate your friend’s success

Rather than viewing your friends' success as a threat or a reflection of your failures, celebrate their achievements. Understand that their success does not diminish your potential or opportunities. Embrace a mindset of abundance, where everyone can thrive and succeed.

3. Express Your Feelings:

Communicating your feelings with your friends, colleagues, and even your wife and children is essential. Let them know that you appreciate your friend’s success but feel left out and undervalued. Honest and open communication can help them understand your perspective. Envy is pride in oneself; everybody feels it at a specific time. While you might be depressed,it is essential to share your resentment with close people who might give you insight on points that you are missing.

3- Plan Group Activities:

Take the initiative to plan group activities or gatherings where the spotlight isn't solely on your friend. Choose activities everyone can enjoy and participate in, creating a more inclusive environment or even activities you master. They’ll then seek your help, thus strengthening your bond and even making you share a valuable experience with your friend that will shift your perspective. And who knows? Maybe Steve will also give you a few tips on being a millionaire!

4- Strengthen Individual Connections:

Reach out to your friends and colleagues individually. Plan some one-to-one hangouts. 

If it’s not something usual, make it a routine to hang out with at least one of them each weekend of the month. The goal here is not to gather information about Steve but to find the friend you lost ( or feel like losing). Cultivate stronger one-on-one connections to ensure your relationships aren't solely dependent on group dynamics. This can help you feel more valued on a personal level. 

5- Highlight Your Achievements:

Share your successes and achievements with your social circle. Please make sure they are aware of your contributions and accomplishments. This can help shift the focus back to you and show that you are an essential and successful individual. 

Pay attention to not making it a whole “me” scene to avoid the opposite effect of this tip.

If you don’t feel comfortable sharing that, make some notes on your phone and read them whenever you feel left out, or even engage in a memory talk with them so they can share all the beautiful moments you had together.

6- Express Your Needs to Your Wife( or partner if you have one )

Have a candid conversation with your wife about your feelings regarding the attention given to your friend. Explain that you need her support and understanding and would like her to acknowledge and appreciate your efforts and presence. Trust me, it works like a charm.

7- Explore New Friendships:

Consider expanding your social circle and making new friends who appreciate you for who you are. This doesn't mean cutting ties with your current friends; diversifying your connections can offer different perspectives and support. And you’ll also have more things to do and less time to think about your friends, and indeed if you make new friends, you won’t see “Steve” around.

8- Seek Professional Help:

If your feelings of being overlooked affect your well-being and relationships, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. They can guide you in navigating these emotions and improving your mental health. Therapists provide an unbiased and objective perspective. They can help you gain clarity on your feelings, relationships, and personal challenges without judgment and teach you valuable skills to cope with and manage your emotions. This can include communication techniques, stress reduction strategies, and ways to build resilience.